Monday, November 01, 2004
This whole quarter i haven't really been writing anything. mostly because i'm too busy to think of anything but work and what i have to do during the day. the quarter as a whole has been mediocre. nothing really exciting or dramatic has happened, but nothing awefull or horrible has happend. i'm just going through my day and getting it done. i need some excitement in my life, some adventure. i just can't wait till vacation. it'll be nice not have to have do projects or work on crappy homework... but i probably be sending out hundreds of resumes to companies..
now, i still can't get over the fact that this life that we live is so structured. from an early childhood we have it drilled into our heads that we need a job, and we need to make a lot of money, and have nice things to live a good life. and i'm here, at an expensive school, busting my ass so i can fulfill this goal. but when i look back at myself, and i see how tired and miserable i can get with school, i have to ask myself if it is worth it or not. why can't we just do what we want. why can't i just travel, and work at random places and life a life of adventure and learn from life. this is probably from the little gypsy in me (that is what my relatives say about my parents and us kids from always moving around.. that we are a little family of gypsys). the responsible thing to do is to just finish my education and then figure out what i want to do with my life. but i keep getting older, and things keep coming up and walls keep getting put up and i just follow with the flow... one day i want to let go and smile without the little voice in my head saying you should be doing work.
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