Sunday, April 04, 2004
This weekend gave me a lot of time to think. Thinking about the past and the future and my current life. I don't know if i have changed a lot, it's kinda hard to figure that out because i have always changed. I've always had to change, and re-adapt to a new situation. Having done that my whole life is quite exhausting actually. I've never really had a time to figure out who i am. I feel that i have found a peace, but i still have that fear of what may come. My life has become a pattern, and having to wait for whatever is to come drives me up the wall. Why is it that i have to take the road of achieviment. Why couldn't i have been a slacker, not cared about what i accomplished but how i lived my life. idk, i'm just tired of the rat race i am running. I just want to live a simple life....... but i know that (being programed the way i am) i couldn't never be able to keep my sanity if i did that. It's a vicious cylce that i know a lot of people struggle with. I need to find my peace in my rat race world...
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